Oh, you like my girlfriend, huh? I guess you'll be taking Level 3 again next year.

Today, another day at the pool was not just “another day at the pool". I had to defend my manhood by failing a 2nd grader for talking about my girlfriend. Before you comment on what seems to be a terrible injustice - let me explain.

I walked out to the pool for lessons and was once again bombarded with questions. Sometimes I wonder if these kids plot little schemes together so I will be completely shocked when they unleash them on me, but then I remember that they are in 2nd grade and they can barely remember what side of their bathing suit goes forward.

Anyway, today the first question seemed innocent enough.

Dan: "Did you break up with your girlfriend?"
ME: "Nope."

Dan: "Oh ok... cause Andrew wants to kiss her."
Andrew: "No way!! I just think she's hot, that's all."

Oh no, I thought. I'm doomed. This kid Andrew has everything on me. Sure he’s small, but he's smart, funny, and he even looks better than me in a bathing suit. Kelley will definitely choose him over me; she always tells me how much she likes 2nd graders - what should I do?

Wait a minute, I thought. It's testing day. I'll just fail little Andrew and he'll lose all confidence and never realize that he has a chance with Kelley.

"Ok everyone, jump in the water - time to do your bobs!" I said with a mischievous smirk on my face.