Fresh vids from America

To all who have access to Jeff's ftp, there is a marvelous video at your fingertips. Anyone can enjoy this wonderful piece of media but the target audience is the boyz abroad. Kyle, Jim, and I have created a video with b-ball, boxing, and bowling. So make your way over to the ftp and look for the vid titled "Go West".

Goofing off

Aaron and his friends are always having a good time.

Re: I am sick of stupid girls

The reason for my response is to clarify two specific things:

1. Not all Elementary Education girls fit the description of kid-loving and hungry.
2. Not all Elementary Education girls think I'm funny.

Sorry for any incovenience this may have caused...

I am sick of stupid girls

Elementary education classes have become increasingly upsetting lately and this time it was Math. The problem is that many elementary education majors don't know when to keep their mouth shut.

Apparently most of them missed the theme of Proverbs: If you're a fool, keep your mouth shut and no one will know.

This particular class period, a few different people were assigned to practice their lesson plans while the remaining class played the part of the students. The girl that was teaching us about the metric system today looked shy and not very confident. Immediately, I felt bad for this girl and decided I would be a respectful student by answering her questions and following her directions.

As she started off, stuttering and talking in an extremely quiet voice, I leaned in and listened very carefully. I was disturbed within seconds as the girl next to me began frantically fumbling with her candy wrapper in order to satisfy her enormous sugar craving. This small disturbance created a waterfall of disaster. Girls, pretending to be 5th graders, started talking back and forth while the teacher was trying to explain inches. Being the only boy in the class, I was up in arms. There was nothing I could do to control this mess of chatting...

"Unless…" I said to myself with a grin.
"Quick girls! There's a 3rd grader in the hallway looking to give away donuts and he has a cute older brother who is looking for a wife!!"

I knew their secret. I have been engulfed in their lives for the last three years—waiting, watching, and memorizing their wants and desires. I knew the three weakness (in no particular order) of all Elementary Ed girls:

1. Kids
2. Food
3. Getting their MRS degree


Needless to say, all the girls ran for the 3rd grader with the donuts and the older brother, found nothing and said, "Oh John, you're so funny."

So if you are looking for a career and/or a mate, you have three choices: Calvin, Trinity, or Dordt. And as quickly as possible, find the elementary education program.

Time for Tumnus

You need to check this out; this post tells the true story of what life is now like without a few close roomates.

But please be careful; once you have Tea with Tumnus, you may never be able to put down that delicious cup again (it's better than Turkish Delight, unless you ask Edmund).

Wet Socks & Far off Places

As a swim coach, swimming lesson teacher, and water areobic instructor, I can do some amazing things with water. This "move" usually looks better with a water noodle, but at the time, I had no noodle. With or without the noodle, it's still called, "the rocking horse squat w/ a sissor kick"

Fat kids float

As the swim coach of the Sioux Center Sea Hawks, I have come to the conclusion that all kids under the age of 10, don't know what exercise feels like.

I coach swimmers (ages of 6 to 11) twice a week. When I ask these children (about 16 total) to swim, they gladly take off to do their laps. But every day, without exception, there will be at least 3 of these "eager little swimmers" that find some reason not to swim more than one lap.

Tuesday, a little girl about 8 years old, told me her hand hurt. Last week it was her legs. She doesn't realize that when you swim, your body moves and is therefore in the process of exercising. On Tuesday she told me that her imaginary cut "only needs a waterproof Band-Aid", then it would be fine. Needless to say, I didn't get her a Band-Aid.

Another little girl is the laziest 6 year old I have ever seen, and she knows it. She told me, "I like being lazy." A normal day begins with me asking Alexis to swim 10 laps and her swimming a mere two, then saying, "Done." We then argue about how many laps she still has to do, oh well, she's six.

Even if the last time you ran was in Mr. Stout's PE class, you realize what exercise feels like. My kids, when they feel winded, they assume they are sick. If their legs hurt from swimming, something must be wrong.

Where's the old saying when you need it, "No pain, no gain." Well, I can tell you it’s not in lanes 1 & 2 at the All Season Center in Sioux Center, Iowa.

Why must I wander like a cloud, following the crowd?

This morning while I was brushing my teeth, I began to hum this little ditty:

Go west young man
Go west young man
When the evil go east...

Then I thought to myself, why in the world am I singing this song? Am I looking for a reason, roaming through the night to find my place in this world, MY PLACE IN THIS WOOOORRRLD!? No, that can't be it. Anyway, I took it as a sign and listened to the song before my 8 o'clock class. So far my day has been spectacular.

I recommend that everyone finds this song and listens to it; if you can't find this masterpiece, it might be on your 8th grade graduation video.

The cat had my tongue (and the butter)

Today after church, I went to a friend's house for Sunday dinner. I was standing by the beautifully set table when I saw the cat jump onto the table, between the array of plates and cups. While I was wondering how this cat got so large (and could still jump), I saw the cat move briskly toward the stick of butter. Before I could say or do anything, the cat got a few good licks in on the butter. Quickly, Kyle snagged the cat off the table before anyone else saw what the cat had done. I wanted to tell the host what had happened but Kyle said they would throw the whole stick of butter away. I guess it's better that I didn't say anything.

Up in arms

My armpits are really sore.

My right armpit seems to have a rash underneath it, and my left seems to be moving that direction. Could it be from the wintery weather? I go in the pool 3 times a week and shower daily so maybe it's just dry; I don't really know--that's why I am pleading for an answer.

WHAT CAN I DO?!?!

So until I get an answer (Eric's mom?), I will stay "up-in-arms" and will not be wearing my cutoff to the gym.